Technology! Money! Don't you see what is important?

I am- still- reading Great Expections by Charles Dickens. It is a hard book- I have to carry around a dictionary whenever I read it so I understand what it is saying- and a long one as well. So do NOT criticize me. As was mentioned before, this is about a poor boy called Pip who lives in England who unexpectantly becomes the heir of a large fortune(All those people who do not understand, it means a great amount of property and money). He, in my opinion, is much like other people- proud- but he has a wonderful quality- being loving. Pip is to be in society(among the people of power and money) and he must learn all the proper ways of living rich. What I have noticed is how he still does not understand what should be valued and what should not. It may  seem you have nothing, but- in fact- you could have everything if you only understood.

In a much earlier post, I talked about how gifts are unsatisfying.Well, they are. You could have the best and newest technology, but never be satisfied with them. Maybe it is because you are looking for the wrong thing. To bring my religion into the scheme of things, I heard a sermon more recently. The reverand was saying how kids do not want the toys: They want to be with the parents and to be loved. We are given so much we do not deserve, yet we are still unsatisified.

Do you know what we are looking for? We are looking for love- for happiness. All those beautiful parts of life. No one can receive those things by gifts. You have to understand what those gifts mean. You have to understand what you already have. Pip- he had dreams of being just like his brother-in-law(Joe). He wanted to be a blacksmith and he wanted to be the same, kind creature Joe is. You know what now? Now, he is in society and he is ashamed of Joe and his past.

That is natural. I am sure you and I have also been this way too. We reach something "better" and then we lose the knowledge of why what we had before was good. Let me tell you something: Even when something is hard- whether it be poverty for Pip or something as small as homework trouble- there is good. I think this is one of the best lessons I have learned this year. There is hope and there is faith. Faith is believing in something you cannot see. Well, you cannot see the future, so faith does not only apply to only religion. Just believing something good will happen is faith.

Anyway, Pip had something beautiful in his poor village. He had friendship and now.... He is ashamed of it and all because there is nothing "proper" about his friends, his past, and his village. Joe and Biddy helped him through thick and thin. Biddy was his confident and Joe was his old friend. All because Joe is poor and cannot read and speak like rich people, he is ashamed of him. He chooses to appease people he does not even like! Pip is like any other person: He wants people to like him.The problem is everyone loses sight of what is important- not money, not technology. They do not satisify you. What does is friendship.

Your Worth

*Suggestion: If you don't want me to ruin the book for you, please do not read. If you don't mind, please proceed.*

I'm reading Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. In England, Pip is a poor, orphaned boy living with his older sister and her husband- Mrs. and Mr. Joe Gargery. All his life, he has suffered by Mrs. Joe "bringing him up by hand." After the first time, he went to visit Miss Havisham and her neice Estella at the Manor House, he found himself so "common". I found this one moment of truth with Joe after he returned from the visit very beautiful. He lied about his visit, talking about how extravagent the place is. In fact, it was a place of eeriness and sorrow. By Estella's critisisms, he saw everything in a lower light. Now all he has known is no longer beautiful to him.

I find the fact he thought he was so common meant he wanted to stand out. Just by the fact how hard he is trying to learn as much as possible shows so. It hurts when you feel ordinary. Don't you want to stand out among the crowd? If there is nothing special, what is your worth? Nothing. Do you really want to be nothing? Nobody does. This is the reason why so many people put so many pains into being unique. When you have no worth- no purpose- what do you do? Some people commit suicide.

Do you ever think about suicide? Do you ever wonder why people do it? It is because they see no purpose in the world and their lives. I would be lying if I said I never think about suicide. During the past year, I was going through some emotional trouble and such. I did not see much good in the world and myself. No one ever wanted to be around me really. It seemed like my own friend saw it. Instead of helping me, I had a feeling she wanted to hang out with people more interesting than me. If no one saw anything in me, was I worth nothing? I once talked to my dad about my messy room. Some people think something is a mess, but others call "that mess" art. Did this apply here too? I did not really seem to think so. My opinion was what mattered most. What if I thought the same? I can tell you, I never think of myself in the highest light. This is one of the problems with feeling ordinary. What is your purpose if you are not special?