Let's Talk About Our Mockingjay(EC)

I just finished reading Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins. It is about a girl named Katniss Everdeen- who originally was in the Hunger Games in the first book and is now caught up in a revolution sparked by herself. She never planned it though- despite the fact her face is the face of the revolution- and instead she is being manipulated by both sides- rebels and the Capitol. Everyone had been talking about how great or how terrible Katniss is and it seemed like a good idea to bring my thoughts out on the subject also.

Well, Katniss is real. The type person she is is real. She feels deeply, but like so many people she has to use others to survive. Everything- ever since time began- was pretty much all about survival of the fittest. Everyone is for himself. That is the point of evolution. As the book itself says, no one survived by being compassionate. There is always competition. If a bird just lets another eat all the seeds, that bird is not likely to survive.

It isn't right to use people for someone's own benefit. In fact, everyone should be helping one another so everyone can survive, but the world just does not work that way. Katniss used Peeta to receive gifts from sponsers. The bright side is she didn't just do it for herself; she was trying to save Peeta too. From the start, she seemed to care about him since he gave her the bread when her family was starving. The Career packs in each Hunger Games also depended on one another to stay alive. They shared the supplies and hunted down the weaker tributes together.

Going back to the idea Katniss cares deeply, most people don't. Her attitude and personality do not always show it, but she does. Since most people don't usually care so deeply, it really means something about Katniss. She is often worried about Peeta in this book, because she knew the Capitol captured him and it would torture him. I can relate to Katniss; I care very much about the people around me. A couple friends this year seemed to be telling me- indirectly- to change. They never liked it when I started crying because I was overwhelmed by emotions. They never liked it when fretted so much about them. One of my friends told me I was very self-centered. Well, does anyone like me better?! Whatever I was then, I must be the opposite now! At this point, I don't really care about anything. All my friends aren't my real friends. In other words, I don't have any friends now. What is the point in caring if no one wants me to? It sure wasn't for my benefit! If anything it hurt- which is also why I can relate to Katniss. At the end of it all, pretty much everyone gave up on her- so it seemed anyway. Everyone went off on their own leaving Katniss in her grief. It says something else too. I remember one of my former friends telling me "the teachers you expect to care don't." Well, it doesn't just apply to teachers. It applies to many people. So my answer is Katniss is real. Perhaps she isn't great and she isn't terrible, but she is the sort of person who lives in our world.

Decisions, Decisions

****Do you mind a spoiler???****

Everyday, people make decisions for others. What should really happen is a person should choose what he wants himself. In Emma by Jane Austen, Emma Woodhouse is perfect in every way. She is beautiful, well-educated, has a good fortune and surrounded by good society. She is also good in the way she is very caring. The only problems are she was brought up with pride and having her own way. Her favorite pastime is match-making. She often puts her terrible skills to work to match the people of her acquaintance. It all seemed to work out very well pretty much until she decided to make her last match between her friend Harriet Smith and the town's vicar- Mr. Elton. Harriet Smith is quite pretty, but no one knows of her relations- her family. Back then, relations were very important in society and often meant each person was ranked by that. A brother of Ms. Smith's schoolmates- Mr. Martin- is madly in love with her and Emma convinced her friend she was above the love of a respectable farmer. Harriet never saw anything wrong with marrying Mr. Martin before. In fact, it seemed as if she liked him very much until Emma convinced her otherwise.

Harriet Smith could do no better than marrying a good farmer. No one would even wish to marry someone without the knowledge of whose family she belongs to. It would have brought shame on them. It was an advantage for Harriet, but Emma had to interfere. There is no chance of a better offer of marriage. Why did Emma have to interfere? Emma obviously does not know about the situation enough and shouldn't Harriet make her own decisions? It is her life- not Emma's.

To be honest, it is not all Emma's fault. Harriet was begging for advice. She is not a strong character and can easily be swayed from anything. One of the problems is how much Emma has the need to help. Many people do, but sometimes what they think if right isn't. It seems as if Emma made many errors, because later in the book, it turns out Ms. Smith was not the object of his interest. In fact, it was Emma. Throughout the book, she continues to misunderstand everything. Later on, she believes Harriet is in love with one man when she is quite attached to her friend Mr. Knightly.

That's what happens when people misunderstand though. They mess up and it can be a lot of damage. Everyday, people let others choose for them, but how do those people know everything?

Technology! Money! Don't you see what is important?

I am- still- reading Great Expections by Charles Dickens. It is a hard book- I have to carry around a dictionary whenever I read it so I understand what it is saying- and a long one as well. So do NOT criticize me. As was mentioned before, this is about a poor boy called Pip who lives in England who unexpectantly becomes the heir of a large fortune(All those people who do not understand, it means a great amount of property and money). He, in my opinion, is much like other people- proud- but he has a wonderful quality- being loving. Pip is to be in society(among the people of power and money) and he must learn all the proper ways of living rich. What I have noticed is how he still does not understand what should be valued and what should not. It may  seem you have nothing, but- in fact- you could have everything if you only understood.

In a much earlier post, I talked about how gifts are unsatisfying.Well, they are. You could have the best and newest technology, but never be satisfied with them. Maybe it is because you are looking for the wrong thing. To bring my religion into the scheme of things, I heard a sermon more recently. The reverand was saying how kids do not want the toys: They want to be with the parents and to be loved. We are given so much we do not deserve, yet we are still unsatisified.

Do you know what we are looking for? We are looking for love- for happiness. All those beautiful parts of life. No one can receive those things by gifts. You have to understand what those gifts mean. You have to understand what you already have. Pip- he had dreams of being just like his brother-in-law(Joe). He wanted to be a blacksmith and he wanted to be the same, kind creature Joe is. You know what now? Now, he is in society and he is ashamed of Joe and his past.

That is natural. I am sure you and I have also been this way too. We reach something "better" and then we lose the knowledge of why what we had before was good. Let me tell you something: Even when something is hard- whether it be poverty for Pip or something as small as homework trouble- there is good. I think this is one of the best lessons I have learned this year. There is hope and there is faith. Faith is believing in something you cannot see. Well, you cannot see the future, so faith does not only apply to only religion. Just believing something good will happen is faith.

Anyway, Pip had something beautiful in his poor village. He had friendship and now.... He is ashamed of it and all because there is nothing "proper" about his friends, his past, and his village. Joe and Biddy helped him through thick and thin. Biddy was his confident and Joe was his old friend. All because Joe is poor and cannot read and speak like rich people, he is ashamed of him. He chooses to appease people he does not even like! Pip is like any other person: He wants people to like him.The problem is everyone loses sight of what is important- not money, not technology. They do not satisify you. What does is friendship.

Your Worth

*Suggestion: If you don't want me to ruin the book for you, please do not read. If you don't mind, please proceed.*

I'm reading Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. In England, Pip is a poor, orphaned boy living with his older sister and her husband- Mrs. and Mr. Joe Gargery. All his life, he has suffered by Mrs. Joe "bringing him up by hand." After the first time, he went to visit Miss Havisham and her neice Estella at the Manor House, he found himself so "common". I found this one moment of truth with Joe after he returned from the visit very beautiful. He lied about his visit, talking about how extravagent the place is. In fact, it was a place of eeriness and sorrow. By Estella's critisisms, he saw everything in a lower light. Now all he has known is no longer beautiful to him.

I find the fact he thought he was so common meant he wanted to stand out. Just by the fact how hard he is trying to learn as much as possible shows so. It hurts when you feel ordinary. Don't you want to stand out among the crowd? If there is nothing special, what is your worth? Nothing. Do you really want to be nothing? Nobody does. This is the reason why so many people put so many pains into being unique. When you have no worth- no purpose- what do you do? Some people commit suicide.

Do you ever think about suicide? Do you ever wonder why people do it? It is because they see no purpose in the world and their lives. I would be lying if I said I never think about suicide. During the past year, I was going through some emotional trouble and such. I did not see much good in the world and myself. No one ever wanted to be around me really. It seemed like my own friend saw it. Instead of helping me, I had a feeling she wanted to hang out with people more interesting than me. If no one saw anything in me, was I worth nothing? I once talked to my dad about my messy room. Some people think something is a mess, but others call "that mess" art. Did this apply here too? I did not really seem to think so. My opinion was what mattered most. What if I thought the same? I can tell you, I never think of myself in the highest light. This is one of the problems with feeling ordinary. What is your purpose if you are not special?

Dreamers vs. Pesamists

In my book Tangled by Carolyn Mackler, there are four different characters with their own stories which intertwine. I wanted to talk about Jena- who lives in Topeka, New York. Jena is a hyper but smart girl who longs to experience love. She dreams so much about it and collects tiny bits of other people's exciting lives. The first thing I noticed about Jena was how she always thought about one boy at her school. She dreamed of her future with him.

There is nothing wrong with dreaming. The only problem is dreaming too much. Everyone needs to have dreams of what they plan to do, but they also need to know when their heads are too far into the clouds. Jena is one of those people who dreams too much. She does not even realize until she gets hurt! Dreams are good for inspiration, but they can blind you from reason. This was how Jena- much like many girls- was hurt. They see what they want to see, and then people take advantage of their dreams and crush them.

I often see people like Jena around me. They have high hopes and then when they are unable- or at least do not seem able- to happen.... They become depressed and unhappy. This is why I do not believe in love- why I do not believe in dreams I think will never happen. For me, I see it mostly with love. At school, so many people date, but it only lasts for a short while. My guess is probably because the people they choose may not necessarily go well with them. I also think it is because there is no such thing as "true love", as people put it.  Most of all, I do not believe I will find anybody.

Either way, you can get hurt. Jena is hurt by falling for someone who in the end treats her badly. I am hurt by not believing I can be able to do something. This is why being somewhere between the two is best. It is good to be determined and ambitious as well as realistic, but terrible to be blinded by dreams and doubt of not being able to do something.

We Are Our Best and Harshest Critics

In The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank, Anne still hopes there will be an end to World War II. She still has hope she and her family will be safe from the Germans and have a future. Anne hopes to be a writer. Writing helps her think and relax. It also helps her remember. Anne is also her own greatest critic.

This reminds me of how we reflect on ourselves. Does anyone ever believe they are perfect? Well, no- unless there is something wrong with your head. No one is perfect and there is always room for improvement. We each know this above everyone else because we see our mistakes most. This means we tend to judge them most.

This entry reminds me of myself. I am my best- and harshest- critic. I criticise myself more than anyone- despite the fact I was born into a family of perfectionists(Haha. Perfectionist Christians. Excellent. How can that work? Christians are supposed to be patient and such). Anyway, we each see our mistakes and most of all.... Each person knows him/herself better than other people and he/she is the one going through his/ her situation. It means they know more behind their actions. Therefore, we know more of what we did right or wrong and what we need to improve on.

Gifts Are Not Satisfying

In The Ghost of Crutchfield Hall by Mary Downing Hahn, Florence Crutchfield- a mischievous girl from a grim orphanage- goes to live with her great-uncle Thomas, his sister Eugenie, and her sickly cousin James. She soon finds her deceased cousin Sophia is haunting her new home, seeking to put James in her place. Sophia died a year before Florence came to live at Crutchfield Hall, leaving the world and feeling unloved and miserable. The only person whose love she knew of was Aunt Eugenie's. All her life, Sophia envied her brother whom everyone adored because of her deceased parents. Sophia was determined to have the love her brother received.

It seems as if she believed love would show only through people giving her gifts. So many gifts can never satisfy. It only makes you want more. Aunt Eugenie gave Sophia the love she longed for so much, but she was still not content. Even in death, Sophia wanted another chance at life, not caring what the consequences were. Instead of resting in peace, she decided to use Florence. It came all to no avail though.

Getting a second chance means trying to be better. If you were just continuing to receive presents, will you ever be satisfied? Will you ever feel loved in Sophia's case? Not necessarily. Gifts are not love. You may think they are, but they are not; They symbolize caring. It is not same thing.

The Diary of Anne Frank Response

Anne Frank are very different in character. She is headstrong, talkative, and temperamental while I am quiet, stubborn, and temperamental as well. I suppose being stuck with the same people each day in closed space brings out your personality negatively.

Her family, the Van Daans- family friends- and Dr. Dussel- obviously a doctor- all critize her. Anne was never the favorite between her and her sister Margot to begin with- Margot is quiet and will easily give in. But now they all critize her. "If I talk, everyone thinks I'm showing off; when I'm silent they think I'm ridiculous; rude if I answer, sly if I get a good idea, lazy if I'm tired, selfish if I eat a mouthful more than I should, stupid, cowardly, crafty, etc., etc." Critizing Anne only brings out the worst of her. It is a cycle. They critize her, she loses her temper, they critize her, and so on.

She and I are very alike in this way. The main people who critize me are my dad and my brother. Between the two, naturally my dad's critizisms bother me most. Usually, his scolding is enough to send me into tears. Sometimes I feel like he and my brother will not leave me alone! I feel like I can do nothing right."More than once, after a whole string of undeserved rebukes, I have flared up at Mummy: 'I don't care what you say anyhow. Leave me alone: I'm a hopeless case anyway.'"

When I was younger- and even now- I would yell at my brother to leave me alone. "Do you want to play with me?" "No." "Why not?" "Because I don't want to play!" "That's not a good reason." Sometimes this would happen in the morning and my yelling would wake up the whole house- my dad was never in a good mood when this happened. I may seem very quiet at school, but at home I can be loud when I wish to be.

Thanks for reading. I think I would have done better if I wrote this immediately after I read that journal entry. I did not write too badly, did I? Oh. Well, I guess I can do better.

Prada and Prejudice Response

Callie Montgomery returned to her real world just as she began to enjoy the year 1815. She has returned to where she was before a different person. In the beginning of the book, Callie was self-concious, depended greatly on friends to have a good time, and, most of all, cared too much about what others thought of her. When she ended up in the world of 1815 after a fall in her new prada heels, she had to learn how to be independent and herself. Being a 21st century girl, she did not fit in with either the "in-crowds" in either her own world or the London world in the 19th century. But, in 1815, all of the beliefs of high society bring out her own mind's words. She also has to help her new friend Emily escape an arranged marriage. In this case, instead of Callie depending on her friends, she had to be Emily's "rock" and support her. All these things bring out the inner "Rebecca"- the inner person who is unafraid to speak her mind.

I thought how the scene of when Callie returns to her world was much like what Nanny McPhee said in the movie Nanny McPhee. "'When you need me, but don't want me, I will stay. But when you want me, but no longer need me, I have to go.'"That whole time in the 19th century, Callie needed to learn these lessons. She needed to be there, but did not want to be there. So she had to stay. Now she has learned and no longer needs to be there.

Everyone needs to leave the place they learned from. To take these lessons and apply them to the world. It is what makes us better people and in a world just a bit better- piece by piece. How else will the world get better? You cannot wait for the world to become better, you need to make it better yourself by learning a little more everyday and applying that knowledge to life.